As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
              
              
                I came upon Mother Goose -- so I turned her loose --
              
              
                she was screaming.
              
              
                And a foreign student said to me --
              
              
                was it really true there are elephants and lions too
              
              
                in Piccadilly Circus?
              
              
                 
              
              
                Walked down by the bathing pond
              
              
                to try and catch some sun.
              
              
                Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing
              
              
                into hankerchiefs as one.
              
              
                I don't believe they knew
              
              
                I was a schoolboy.
              
              
                 
              
              
                And a bearded lady said to me --
              
              
                if you start your raving and your misbehaving --
              
              
                you'll be sorry.
              
              
                Then the chicken-fancier came to play --
              
              
                with his long red beard (and his sister's weird:
              
              
                she drives a lorry).
              
              
                 
              
              
                Laughed down by the putting green --
              
              
                I popped `em in their holes.
              
              
                Four and twenty labourers were labouring --
              
              
                digging up their gold.
              
              
                I don't believe they knew
              
              
                that I was Long John Silver.
              
              
                 
              
              
                Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds
              
              
                in his jet-black mac (which he won't give back) --
              
              
                stole it from a snow man.